Almost leaving. Word Splurge.
It’s been a while! With a couple of long weekend rides, wrapping up work, and getting everything in order to leave, finding the clarity to write a post has been tricky. There’s been lots of things to share, but feeling like what I have to say is worth sharing has been hard.
But a speedy catch up! I cycled from London to Swansea a few weeks back. Had a few hiccups with navigation, and figured out my saddle wasn’t the one for me. But good things to overcome while still in the UK.
Went hiking in Spain over Easter! A lot of fun, with a group of brilliant people. It was a chance to let my foot heal from a stress fracture (which now is almost pain-free all the time - yay!) and get lost in books while I took my annual leave. (can recommend Invisible Women, Caroline Criado-Perez and Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell)
Then cycling in Nice! Organised this far too last minute, but good to know that even when flustered and minimally planned I didn’t forget anything. Taking my bike apart, packing it with all my kit, hauling it to the airport, and rebuilding it on the otherside, were all super helpful things to practise to reduce the stress of travelling to the US. Bashing out 100 mile days, with climbs from the Tour de France thrown in too, makes me feel like I’ll at least be okay for the first week of America. And once I’m that far in there’s no point stopping.
But what I wanted to say, while I frantically type this before going to graduation!
Mega thank you to everyone who has said that I can do this.
As my departure has gotten closer, the realisation of how big America is has begun to sink in. At the same time self doubt has grown. But the confidence that everyone I speak to has in me offers evidence against my worries. I know it’s important to be independent, but that doesn’t mean being alone. By listening to my friends and family, who have seen me plan this challenge over the last 8 months, I’m able to overcome my anxieties and keep a clear(er) head in the last few hectic days before I leave.
Mega thank you to my friends who have kept me grounded recently too, by letting me just say “I feel a lot” when they ask me how I’m doing.
This challenge evokes a lot of mixed feelings for me. Yes it’s a brilliant adventure, going through some beautiful parts of the US. But it’s also the longest cycling tour I’ve done (by a long way), and I’ll be doing it on my own.
Then there’s the charity side. Rape Crisis are truly amazing, and help so many individuals. But it’s impossible to not be reminded of why I’m raising money for them throughout this process. At times it has been hard. Flashbacks came back, I’ve choked up in conversations, and fought back tears while talking to audiences about what happened to me and how Rape Crisis helped me. Cycling for Rape Crisis and being open about being raped in the past, I’ve wanted to highlight that survivors are ‘invincible’, but that’s only part of the story,
Posting more on social media, I’ve felt decreasingly like myself and increasingly worried about how I’m perceived. I love to show the strong side of me, especially when tackling something as huge as the US! But honestly, I’m such a squishy person who feels incredibly uncool and just wants to make people, and the world we share, a bit better. So let’s do it! Rape Crisis have 14k+ people on their waiting list currently. By donating you can make their worlds a little better and help Rape Crisis provide support to survivor of rape and sexual assault. I wouldn’t be able to do this without them, so lets give some others the same chance to shape their futures.
